Closing A Chapter

A Letter To My Freshman Self

By: Emily Clasen

In 2017, I watched as my parents’ car drove away, leaving me alone with a stranger in a city I had visited only once. My new roommate was nice enough, but I was already homesick the moment my mother dropped me off and was terrified of the unknown. Within five minutes, I was calling her crying. 

Three and a half years later, my tiny apartment at Auburn University has become more of a home than I ever expected. With only six months left, I’m already grieving the loss of another place I love. 

 

While it still hurts, this time I know wherever I go next can become a home too. It reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite shows. In the last episode of The Office, Creed says “no matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.” 

 

If I could go back, I would tell my freshman self that it was going to be okay and not to feel so terrified of a new place and new people.

That while my blood family is hundreds of miles away, I will soon have a found family who helps me grow and find out the kind of person I want to be going forward.

I wish I hadn’t spent so much time missing what I used to have and spent more time enjoying the new experience I had been given.

It took me until my sophomore year before I finally started to come out of my shell and made friends. I was so focused on finishing college, so I could “start” my life that I didn’t realize this unique experience was slipping through my fingers. 

 

It’s shocking to think of all the things I consider normal that will no longer be available to me. I won’t be able to sit in the student section of a basketball game again. I can’t join random clubs because I have afternoons free. I won’t live on the same street as all my friends or have a movie night twice a week with them. 

 

An experience that will stick with me is participating in the AMDA Fashion Show and joining the AU Modeling Board. It boosted my confidence and connected me with friends who understood me and accepted me for my past. I met people from all different backgrounds and countries which gave me a new perspective on life.

 

I wish I had applied earlier to work at the on-campus AU Bookstore because working there the last two years has been one of the best decisions I ever made. I found some of my best friends through there while also learning a great deal about customer and supplier relations. My experiences there have better prepared me for a public relations career than reading textbooks were able to do.

My employers helped set the standards for future work environments I want because I know that work is easy if you love the people around you. 

There are so many small things I will miss about this city.

Rolling Toomers Corner after our team won a football game. Movie nights with my coworkers from the bookstore. Fundraiser fashion shows with the modeling board. Working as a foster parent for the local humane society. Grabbing cookies from Insomnia at 2 am to stay awake studying. The random stickers and trinkets you get walking the concourse on a Wednesday. 

 

Through college I solidified my values and learned that keeping and growing relationships are the most important thing to me, not what house I live in. And I plan to keep those relationships up still no matter how far apart we travel. 

I know the next town and apartment I move into will be just as hard to leave, but thanks to technology, I can keep my friends and make new ones.

I’ve learned that fear only holds me back and change isn’t always bad. I’ve learned to focus on the present and future and not hold onto “what-ifs.”

 

Auburn has been a wonderful place for me to bloom into my true self and find out the type of people I want to surround myself with.

I will always treasure my time here, but one thing it’s taught me is how exciting it is to look forward into the unknown. Because new homes await.